February 8, 2012

Try The Mambo Instead

Ever have a seemingly intractable relationship issue? Maybe one you've given up on?

You've tried everything you know and still can't resolve it. The other person is unwilling to meet you half way, is too stubborn or difficult to deal with. I may even be a little too generous here in describing them.

Try the view from their side.

That shift in your perspective allows you to notice critical details that previously were hidden from your view. Those details often hold the key to resolving the unresolvable.

It is very natural and human to see a situation only from our perspective, or from a limited view. We may even think we are considering all angles, but the reality is we often aren't. Our background, culture, values, experiences, etc. all create a matrix of filters that govern our perspectives and keep us from seeing how life really is. 

It is inevitable that we have some kind of interpretation of events. That interpretation is what governs our thoughts, communications and actions, keeping us stuck in the situation as long as we hold on to the same perspective.

However, human dynamics are like a Tango. You move one way, they move to match you. One step, two steps in this intimate dialogue that continues unchanged as long as one or both of you continue to hold on to the same perspective, thinking and actions.

How you change this is first by acknowledging that they may be just as stuck in feeling morally superior, resigned, frustrated, or hamstrung as you are. That the situation may be different to what you currently know and that there is a possible resolution. Even if you can't see it just yet.

Then, change the dance. 

If you think they should do something too, forget about it. 

Unless they're reading this blog, chances are they don't even realise they have a point of view. They may think, this is how life really is.

We know differently. Those who know are obligated to take action.

No comments:

Post a Comment